Olga’s Details

I tagged my friend Olga, but since she aint got no blog, I give her some space here.
Meet my friend:

1. clothing

I’m always in a place where I want to sit and reflect and then implement a plan for my own ‘style’. I feel that I have never established a definite style for myself and that upsets me because it is something that I really like. Perhaps I refused to put too much effort into because the fashion industry and models in general just irritate me. Also, I rarely feel up to going shopping and believe that having to look for clothes, (and try them on) when you don’t have the inspiration or strength for it, is just torture. Since I started working I’ve also changed what I look for, when I shop, in a big way. I have a wide variety of skirts & shirts (magic combination – feminine and very comfortable). When I was studying I wore a lot of big and colorful African skirts. I had to part with them because attorneys don’t wear stuff like that. I may have become a bit bland in what I wear and the way I dress during the week and the way I dress over weekends are really very different. I think I dress way too casual over weekends. Sometimes, I’ll be walking in the city streets, feeling very confident and chic and think “I wish so and so (in Hermanus or whatever) could see what I’m wearing today”. Shoes. I have big feet and sometimes feel tempted to ask for a size 9 knowing that the salesperson will just blank-stare me . If the shoe is still new (and fresh) I’ll probably have to squeeze my foot into the biggest size they’ve got. This is just with heeled shoes (which , believe it or not, I find very exciting. It makes you walk so differently. Not weird or wobbly but more upright and confident). I NEVER wear socks.

2. furniture

I haven’t been living out of boxes for the past decade but I haven’t exactly sprouted roots either. I recently bought a big (some say uncomfortable) white leather (or rather pleather ?) couch. I don’t know why but I love it. I never know exactly what I want to buy and love having an only a vague idea and then letting my nose/imagination lead me to little–treasure shops where you find the most wonderful things if you have patience and don’t mind getting dirty. I hate the monstrously expensive cori craft-type furniture that every second house-frau dreams about owning. Whenever I am really excited and inspired about something but keep myself open to a detour the most amazing things happen. I am, however, not in the market for furniture at the moment.

3. sweet

Anything chocolate. I try not to but tend to eat chocolate every day.

“Chocolate. Here today. Gone today.”

4. city

I’ve only ever known Johannesburg (where I grew up) and cape town where I live now. When I was little, JHB was to me what the dark and scary forest must have been to little red riding hood. I still can’t believe that people dare entering it at all. I remember driving through the streets once and seeing many buildings empty, all the windows broken and badly vandalized. Just two minutes outside the city the rich people live in their mansions and there are plush gardens and trees everywhere. The contrast is interesting but JHB never tickled my fancy or my imagination. Not like Cape Town, my mother city. I can feel so complete one day and completely alone the next. I suppose that’s what a city is meant to be. A platform to anywhere or anything you want. Love to see New York and live in Paris for a year.

5. drink

I’m much more of an eater than a drinker but I do love a beer with lunch, red wine and beer shandy (because it always makes me feel like I’m on holiday). Coffee only when I’m offered or ‘having coffee’ with someone. Never coke or any soft drink and 8 glasses of water a day, of course.

6. music

I not answering this one. It’s too much even for me to process.

7. Tv

I’ve always been at my happiest without a tv in the house. It drains me and fills me with junk at the same time. Lately, whenever I feel like watching something I’ll rent a series (really enjoyed Pushing Daisies, Six Feet Under, Ugly Betty and even though I don’t understand why, the O.C. there’s like a zillion discs to rent) and watch it on a laptop. I’ve noticed that I’m a little out of touch with the news and the latest funny advertisements. I can live with that.

8. film

I could never name all of them but movies that have touched me are Fried Green Tomatoes, Stranger than Fiction, Into the wild, Thelma and Louise, Bella, The Big Blue, 1900, Before sunrise (and Before sunset – the scene right at the end still makes my belly turn with delight), Amelie (magical), The never-ending story (I still dream of flying on Falkor’s back through the clouds), Closer, Alice by Woody Allan, Harold and Maude, Great Expectations (had a magical afternoon once during exams and fell in love with the dialogue and music), also love the Three Colors blue, red and white (these were about the only ‘art house’ movies the video store had when I was growing up), Dan in real life. Too much to remember. Hate horror movies and try not to like romantic comedies.

9. books

Unbearable lightness of being by Milan Kundera (It still feels like the first book I’ve ever read although I know it isn’t), A prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving (I think about it almost everyday – proof that a fictional book can give you true guidance in life), Lady Chatterley’s Lover (just for the last paragraph. Beautiful.), any Kinky Friedman I can get my hands on (it’s my junk food), Griet skryf ‘n Sprokie by Maretha vd Vyfer, Houd-den-Bek by Andre P. Brink, Susters van Eva by Dalene Matthee, Wegkomkans by Maretha vd Vyfer, The World according to Garp by John Irving (brilliant ending), Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell, Manual for the Warrior of Light by Paulo Coelho (because my brother made me read it during a dark time and it made me smile). I can’t name them all.

10. workout

I won’t say I like it but I ALWAYS feel amazing when I do and I have all my angry imaginary conversations during so it clears my mind and I can feel my body is thankful that I moved around a bit. The first stride of a nice long run is always wonderful. I just like moving (climbing, dancing, stretching) and can remember a time once when I was fit and super healthy. I loved it. I’m not competitive at all and lately I enjoy sitting on my couch much more than I do running.

11. hair

Going for a hair cut is like going to the dentist for me. It’s always traumatic, though I keep it to myself. My palms get sweaty and my heart pounds as I try to explain, in vain, what I want him/her to do to my hair. Because I always wait ages before I gather enough courage to make an appointment I always get a lecture about how long and un-styled my hair is. I’ve learnt that I shouldn’t let my hair get too long as I tie it up and then it’s all downhill from there. My hair is happiest when it’s wild and free. Another big no-no if you’re an attorney is to have wild unrestrained hair and I sometimes think my hair rebels by looking just terrible some days. Fact – a good hair day is bloody marvelous. I need a hair cut.

12. pastries

Need to be as decadent as possible or it seems like such a waste.

13. coffee

I enjoy it but never crave it.

Weird

On my blog stats site I can see which terms people used to find my blog.

Today it was:
elke naters blog: 5 views
tote babys (dead babies) : 2 views
25mortonstreet: 1 view
verschluckte socke (swallowed sock): 1 view

Yesterday:
plastic nappy: 2 views
tote babys: 1 view
25mortonstreet: 1 view

I don’t know about the swallowed sock but the dead babies really freak me out.

The City of my Dreams

I often dream about a big city. It is the city of my dreams. Literarily. I always cry when I get there. It feels like coming home. Often I would call it New York, but it isn’t. The city of my dreams looks completely different. Not even nice. And completely strange. I always wonder why I have such an affinity to that city and at the same time it is almost repulsive. Huge Buildings, wide and empty streets with lots of empty space. You almost can’t walk there. It is too big. It is a city on a hill. I have to climb or drive a long way up to the top. Last night I sat in a highrise building on top of the hill. I looked out of the window and cried because I finally got there.
I wonder why this place keeps coming back and how this place that I have never seen before and which doesn’t look like any place I know always looks alike and how I can be so moved and feel so at home when at the same time it feels so strange. Even in my dreams I wonder.

Heartbraking

After I woke up, Sven brought me tea and told me a story from the local paper. There was this 20 years old woman, a young mother, living in the township, who had an incurable heart disease. One morning she received a call from the Banard Memorial Hospital that they had a matching heart for her and the operation was scheduled at 11 the next morning.

This woman was very weak. She was lying in bed for more than one year. She got up the next morning and went on a taxi. The hospital is more than a hundred kms away. The taxi ( a minibus, main transport for poor people) dropped her of a taxi rank in Bellville, a suburb outside Cape Town, where she had to get another taxi to get into the city.
She arrived at 10 in Cape Town. At that time one of her legs was paralyzed and “she started to feel strange”. It took her more than a half our walk from there to the hospital. She was on the brink of collapse but she dragged herself there.

Concerned nurses phoned her because she hasn’t arrived yet and encouraged her all the way. Finally she arrived shortly before the operation was scheduled, got a new heart and recovered remarkably well after.
When the Overstrand executive mayor saw her story in the paper he visited her in the hospital and said, “this woman is such an inspiration for everyone. She helped herself against all odds”.

How could he dare to say that? He should fall on his knees an apologize to that woman that she had to drag herself to the hospital on the risk of her life. He should buy her a car and pay for her license. At least.

I can’t believe they didn’t send her an ambulance to get there. Even when they knew, she was on her way and could hardly make it, they didn’t rush out to get her, but cheered her on the phone: Yeahh, come on, you will make, just another 100 meters). They have a heart for her but no transport to get it. How ironic is this?

The Sleeping Man

“You know, what always astounds me in this city”, Olga said, pointing up a steep road, “is people sleeping on the streets”. It is midday in Cape Town, we just had lunch at Simply Asia. I look up the road and I see what she is talking about. There is a man lying on his stomach in the middle of the narrow pavement, his head resting on his arm. My heart almost stops for a moment. “If he is sleeping”, she says and laughs and I am relieved that we don’t have to stop and check if he is still alive.
She is right, while we are driving, I see people sleeping everywhere. Preferably on grass or under trees, but also in bright sunlight. Taking a nap wherever they are. Men, women, workers, mothers, children. What a city.

Open Garden

I wrote this two weeks ago. Because my Internet is so slow, I only look at the preview and almost never visit the site. That is why I didn’t realize that my last two postst haven’t been published.
Here they are in wrong order.

Saturday, November 8th:
Today was the most beautiful day. We went to the open gardens in Elgin. Once a year people open their gardens to the public. Once again I realized I need beauty around me. My first priority.
I feel very blessed living in such a beautiful country!

Madagascar

I thought I had published this two days ago but it never showed up.

Wednesday, November 19th
Good morning! It is six o clock and I am wide awake. I woke up and thought I have to get up before it is too hot but than I realized, I am back in my own bed and it is hot only because Luzie came last night and we all squeezed in our bed.

We are back from MADAGASCAR! We spent the last week island-hopping in this incredible beautiful and even more incredible hot country. We walked through jungles, crossed mountains and seas, we snorkeled and kayaked, visited schools and a church, spoke French, made friends, danced with beautiful women, laughed, prayed, watched a boxfight and a cockfight, sunsets, fed lemurs, saw chameleons and snakes, millions of beautiful fishes, many Italians, sweated a lot, swam in the sea and most important: ate a LOT. Food was incredibly delicious. Seafood first and foremost. Fresh fruits for breakfast. You had to watch out that the mangos won’t fall on your head, they grow everywhere on trees huge like hundred years old oak trees.

Now it feels like we have been away for three weeks. The journey came on very short notice. I wanted to say goodbye at the airport but didn’t find time. I Still have a runny tummy that reminds me of the fantastic fish carpacio we ate three days ago and which I suspect for this condition but I don’t mind because it was delicious and I ate so much and this is how I lost 5 kilos two years ago and I already feel much slimmer.

It is great to be back with all these memories, being out of the tropical heat. It reminded us a lot of Thailand. Same same but different. As they used to say so to the point.

Guten Morgen! Es ist sechs Uhr und ich bin hellwach. Die Sonne ist schon vor Stunden aufgegangen und ich dachte, ich muß aufstehen, weil es sonst zu heiß ist aber dann merkte ich, daß ich in meinem eigenen Bett lag und es war nur deshalb so warm, weil Luzie sich letzte Nacht zu uns ins Bett gequetscht hatte.

Wir sind zurück aus Madagaskar! Wir haben die letzte Woche Inselhüpfend in dieserm unglaublich schönen und noch mehr unglaublich heißen Land verbracht.
Wir liefen durch Dschugles, überquerten Berge und Meere, wir tauchten und kajakten, besuchten Schulen und eine Kirche, sprachen französisch, machten Freunde, tauschten Adressen aus, tanzten mit schönen Frauen, lachten, beteten, sahen einen Box- und einen Hahnenkampf, Sonnenuntergänge, Chameleons, Schlangen, Hühner, Ochsen, tausend wunderschöne Fische, viele Italiener, fütterten Lemuren, schwitzen eigentlich immer, wir schwammen im Meer, sahen grüne Vanille, Ylang Ylang Bäume, zwei kleine und einen mittelgroßen Baobab, Mangobäume größer als hundertjährige Eichen und vorallem aßen wir sehr viel. Reis in Kokusnuß gekocht, Maniok, Meeresfrüchte und frische Früchte zum Frühstück. Das Essen war köstlich. Alles wächst vor der Haustür oder schwimmt um einen herum. Man muß aufpassen, daß man beim Spazierengehen nicht von Mangos erschlagen wird.

Es fühlt sich an, als wären wir Wochen unterwegs gewesen. Die Reise kam so kurzfristig, daß ich mich nicht mehr verabschieden konnte. ich wohlte eigentlich am Flughafen noch ein kleinen Auf Wiedersehen schreiben, aber dafür war dann keine Zeit mehr.

Aber jetzt bin ich zurück. ich habe immer noch einen grummeligen Bauch, der mich an das fantastische Fisch Carpacio vor drei Tagen erinnert, aber das macht gar nichts, ich würde es sofort wieder essen und außerdem habe ich auf diese Weise vor 2 Jahren 5 Kilo verloren und ich habe fast keinen Hunger mehr und fühle mich schon viel dünner.

Das Zurückkommen ist mit das Beste am Reisen. Voller Erinnerungen und raus aus der Affenhitze. Vieles erinnerte uns an Thailand. Same same, but different, wie man da so treffend sagt. Ihr könnt alles über diese Reise in der nächsten Glamour lesen, mit vielen schönen Fotos.

Details

D from all my ponies tagged me (whatever that means) and here are some details. I added books and hair which seemed important to me.

1. clothing:
A topic I give much thinking but little effort to.
My clothes must hide my flaws, underline my features, they have to be comfortable and must make me look beautiful. This seems to become more difficult the older I get. And even before that. I am 1.80 m and I hardly ever find a piece of clothing with a waste line that is at the same hight as mine.
I don’t want to be dictated by fashion, my clothes have to be dictated by me, by my taste, my movements, my bodyshape.
My clothes have to be simple with rafinesse, special in the details. Colours have to suit me and that is why there are mostly grey, blue, beige, olive in all shades in my cupboard. I own one red t-shirt and a bright orange windjacket that I hardly wear.
My favorites at the moment are two blouses with stehkragen and small stripes, Jeans with wide legs, a blazer with small stripes and ballerinas. I seem to like stripes at the moment. I hardly wear heels and my passion for shoes has died down.
Almost every piece I have is a compromise in some way and that is why I decided it is time to get a tailor. I always dreamed about one perfect pair of pants, blouse, skirt, dress in different fabrics, everything combinable to a perfect flattering, comfortable, elegant but understated uniform. And I never want to shop for clothes again! Ever!

2. furniture
We once had a little comouflage tent in an empty room. That looked perfect. Everything we own is either second hand finds or makeshifts. We moved so often and left everything behind us. Every place we live in seems to be temporary, that is why we never put much effort in furnishing.
If we will ever have our own house, most of the furniture would be built in, like seats and tables and beds and shelfs and cupboards as part of the architecture. Every room perfectly designed for its purpose and our habits and lifestyle.

3. sweet
Marshmallows, sour jelly beans, wriggly worms and jelly babies. Geleefrüchte, Marzipankartoffeln, alles aus Gelee und Marzipan!

4. city
Cologne for its people and the Columba Museum, Berlin for the (my) history, Munich for being my hometown, New York, always wanted to live there, Cape Town, most beautiful city, London, for memories, Bangkok, the craziest city of all.

5. drink
Mostly tab water, I love coke with lots of ice, beer, frozen Margharitas, Sherry, black tea with milk and sugar.

6. music
I get almost all my music from my friend Ludger. I will listen to my favorites a hundred times and I will stop listening to music at all, because I can’t hear it any more. That is why I never got to be a regular music listener.
In general, I like women singing to guitar, (or as my friend Louis said, high pitched women voices) like Lily Allen. I hate rock and my favorite music for the last months was: The Whitest Boy Alive, Asa, Coldplay, Santogold, Yael Naim, Zero 7, Macy Gray, Bon Iver, Feist, Cat Power.
Pop only, never got into classic or jazz.

7. tv
No tv in the house because otherwise I would watch Oprah, Amerikas Next Top Model, The Apprentice, Survivor and The Biggest Looser all the time.
HBO series on dvd. I Have all six feet under seasons and it is still the best ever. My second favorite is Nip Tuck. And the South African series Home Affairs.

8.film
Mostly on dvd. Ensemble films like Short Cuts and Robert Altman in general. Lantana and Crash. Ang Lee. Yi Yi by Edward Yang. I forget films very quickly. So I my favorites are those who stay, like: Icestorm by Ang Lee, Matchpoint by Woody Allan, Nikita by Luc Bresson, Garden State, Laurel Canyon and High Art by Lisa Cholodenko, the Aniversary, the Antoine Doinel Trilogie by Truffaut, la Notte by Antonioni, Marseille by Angela Schanelec, The Day I Became a Woman.
Films I liked lately: Into the wild, Margot at the Wedding, As it is in Heaven.
I am sure I forgot a lot!

9. books
At the moment I read Goethes Wahlverwandschaften. I started it twice but for the first time I understand it, and it is fantastic. I completely missed out on the German classics.
Favorite books:
Rot und Schwarz by Stendal, Anna Karenina by Tolstoi, Madama Bovary by Flaubert, Candid by Voltaire, Wuthering Hights by Emily Bronte, Hunger by Knut Hamsun, Oblomow by Gontscharow, Erste Liebe by Turgeniev, Ein Held unserer Zeit by Lermontow, Hiob by Joseph Roth, Chechov Erzählungen, Paustowski Erzählungen, Girlfriend in a Coma by Douglas Coupland, Samuel Pepy’s diary, The Bible, Zeno Cosini by Italo Svevo, A Girl’s Guide to Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Bank, Populärmusik aus Vitula by Mikael Niemi, Disgrace by J.M. Cotzea, The Cement Garden by Ian McEwan, Rave by Rainald Goetz, Ausweitung der Kampfzone by Michel Houellebecq, Wunschliste eines Bastards by Harmony Korine, The Catcher in the Rye by Salinger, Cockfighter by Charles Willeford and the Hoke Mosley series, Strangeland by Tracey Emin, Ice and Fire by Andrea Dworkin, Unter Wasser Atmen by Julie Orringer, Was am Ende bleibt by Paula Fox, Die kleinen Störungen der Menschheit by Grace Paley
Non fiction: Reasons For God by Tim Keller, Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis, Blue Like Jazz by Don Miller, Velvet Ellis by Rob Bell.
I am anxious I forgot important books and I know I did.

10. workout
I never work out. I go for walks and swims.

11. hair
My hair used to be brown but now it is grey and I dye it. If I would live on a lonely island or in a monastery I would cut it short and grow it out to see how I look with grey hair. I hate going to hairdressers, and I don’t trust them. That is why my hair is very long at the moment. Sometimes I cut it myself. Short hair looks best on me but for that I need a good and regular haircut. That’s why I let it grow and tie it in a knot at the back. So it looks short and always right. I hardly ever wear it down. Always side parting, never fringe.

12. pastries
I never share Nici’s chocolate cake. It is made out of pure chocolate, no flour. She made it the first time for our wedding, never tried it herself and lost the recipe. Luckily she found it again.

13. coffee
Never

Good Bye Zoé (former Ashley)

Zoé

Managed to eat nothing more yesterday. Except a small bag of jelly babies, which I downed all on my own on the streets, while walking the dogs.

A tragedy occurred yesterday. I heard Luzies silent scream and was very alarmed. Silent screams are always a sign that something really serious has happened.

I ran to her room, there she stood in the doorways, head bowed, crying. I thought she had hurt herself and wondered why she was on her own, while Sven and Anton were sitting in her room, next to the hamster cage.

The hamster had been murdered! Luzie found him in the cage, slit open, intestines hanging out and ants crawling over him. The cage door was closed. A mystery that nobody could explain.

Luzie was crying hysterically. She was under shock. She went into my room and lied on my bed. I lied next to her, taking her in my arms. After a while, she asked me under her sobs: Can you please get me my DS? I got up and brought her the requested.
Sven buried the hamster and two minutes later, Luzie was playing as if nothing has happened.

Earlier that day she told me about school. All the prefects had been on a camp on Monday.Today they handed out all the things the little ones had forgotten. She told me amused about one girl that had forgotten two T-shirts, a towel, her bathing-suit and a boy who had forgotten his trousers and his shoes. (How can he forget his pants?)

Luzie didn’t forget anything. She is past that age. I remember when she was in grade 1 and 2, how she and her friends always forgot everything. It was a drama when we couldn’t find her blouse or skirt or shoes of her school-uniform the next morning after she had spent the afternoon at her friend. I almost forgot.
Every mother was upset about it. When I picked her up I went trough the whole house of her friend to collect her stuff. The other mothers did the same. We thought they would never learn to keep their things together and they did. Just so.

Same with Anton. First thing he does when he comes home from school is to take a shower. He says he can’t understand how one could live without showering every day.
I remember he lived very well without showering for weeks until recently. Kids just change. They grow out of things. You are always concerned about how they would ever learn not to forget things, brush their teeth, wash their hair, shower .. until you give up and than they just do it by themselves.

Dieses Buch wird Ihr Leben Verändern!

Für alle, die es noch nicht haben oder nicht wissen: Unser Buch “Was wir von der Liebe verstehen” kann man jetzt kaufen, leider bisher nur in deutscher Sprache, aber das wird sich bald ändern.

Es ist in der Tat lebensverändernd, man kann es immer wieder lesen, viel lachen, manchmal auch weinen, es ist offen und ehrlich (vielleicht zu ehrlich), was man heutzutage so selten findet wie eine unverbaute Aussicht.
Deshalb kauft es, lest es, vorallem verschenkt es an alle Paare die ihr kennt und solche, die es werden wollen. Und vorallem an die, die ihre Hoffnung an die Liebe glauben verloren zu haben.

Wir haben auch noch einen Blog dazu eingerichtet, in dem wir abwechselnd über die Freuden und Leiden der Liebe schreiben. Sven hat ihn mit einer Geschichte über Vertrauen eröffnet und ich werde bald darauf antworten. Außerdem gibt es Textauszüge und ein Interview zu lesen und kleines Video zu sehen.

Unser Wunsch ist es, noch mehr Autoren zu diesen Themen zu gewinnen so daß ein möglichst vielfältiger und anregender Austausch stattfindet, zu dem wir auch die Leser einladen wollen.

Außerdem schreibt Sven auch noch einen Blog!
Sven also started a blog. Don’t miss it. Yes, we are living in blogworld now!