Year 49
January 24, 2012
On the fifth of January I turned 49. I know! I could ignore turning 50 someday so far but not anymore. It is coming. And with it the challenge of throwing a 50th birthday-party. Or not.
From the safety of the distance I always told myself, I am going to have a huge party. After my 40th birthday when I compiled a playlist last minute and got so stressed out over it that it spoiled the whole party for me, I decided to learn from this mistake. From now on, I wanted to choose one song a day for my 50th birthday-party playlist. The playlist is still empty.
Turning half a century old made me recapitulate my life. Was I where I wanted to be with 50? Is there anything I should have put in place until then? A frightening thought.
The reason I started bloging again was to share to first 50 of my life. To be somewhat accountable about changes I want to make. And to pass on wisdom and life experiences I have accumulated together with grey hair and wrinkles through all those years.
I don’t feel very different from 39. No, that’s not right. I do feel very different, but I don’t feel any older. At all.
I always went through life with a feeling of frustration or utter excitement. One of the things I want to change are the frustration periods. What I never want to change until I am very very old is the excitement I feel, when I know something new is about to begin. I am excited right now.
This picture was actually taken on my 48th birthday.
