Do chicks crow?

Vor etwa zwei Monaten schenkte uns jemand vier “Hühner”. Hübsche, kleine fluffige Hühner, die sich dekorativ in unserem Garten machten. Wir waren erst ein wenig besorgt wegen der Hunde, aber die reagierten  gelassen und wir haben sogar einen kleinen Hühnerstall im Garten. Die Schenkerin versichterte, wenn man sie für die ersten Tage darin einsperrt würden sie immer wieder zurückkommen und dort ihre Eier legen. Wir waren begeistert von nun an jeden Morgen frische Eier im Stall zu finden.

Aber dem war nicht so. Keine Eier. Stattdessen ein Mordsgekrähe jeden Morgen ab 5 in der Dunkelheit. Die ehemalige Besitzerin sagte, zwei seien Hähne, zwei Hennen. Das Gekrähe war ein Grund, warum sie sie loswerden wollte

Bald stellte sich heraus, daß alle vier “Hühner um die Wette krähten und da die Eier weiterhin ausblieben, bestätigte sich der Verdacht, dass wir im Besitz von vier Hähnen waren. Hübsch waren sie ja, aber der Lärm unerträglich.

Pinky sagte, ihre Großmutter habe die gleichen Hühner. Ich fragte sie, ob man die essen kann. Sie sagte, ja, natürlich. Ich fragte, ob sie Hühner schlachten und ausnehmen und zubereiten kann und sie sagte, dass sie das jederzeit für uns tun könnte.

Es gab immer wieder kurze Diskussionen in der Familie, ob wir den Hähnen den Hals umdrehen sollten, aber die Kinder sagten, es wären Haustiere und ich wollte kein Massaker in unserem Garten haben.

Gestern taten wir den ersten Schritt zur Problemlösung, indem wir Pinky eins der Tiere schenkten. Sie zog froh mit dem Hahn unter dem Arm ab, in Vorfreude auf ein köstliches Mittagessen.

Der Lärm hat deutlich abgenommen. Heute erst um 7 das erste Krähen vernommen. Am Montag geben wir ihr den nächsten Hahn mit. Bisher hat ihn keiner vermisst.

Cookie checking the “chickens”

Pinky checking her lunch

Final Destiny

Today was the last day in school.
Anton has finished seventh grade and passed. They went to school with their white shirts over their casual clothes for everyone to write on. He will be going to high school next year and that will be a big change. For all of us. Because there is no high school in Stanford and he will not board. We might all move. To the city.

This thought kept us busy the whole week. We went to the German school in Cape Town and liked it very much. I am soo excited thinking about living in the city. I think I had my share of country life now. It was great, I will miss it, but it is time for a change. Nothing is sure for now but we have to decide within the next six weeks. Than school will start. I must hold myself back not getting too excited.

We thought about all the plans that we had made. One of them was to travel the world with the children when they are still young and living with us. Our friend Michael said, while we were waiting for our children: “Yes, traveling the world would be great. As long as it is still there.”

This evening I watched “Edmond” on dvd. It was still light outside. I usually don’t watch movies during the day. I feel guilty doing that, but today it was a lazy hot day. The beginning of the holidays. Luzie was sleeping next to me, exhausted from the school year that has just ended, the sun was shining through the open door into her face and I hang a blanket up the reck where a curtain should be.

David Mamet wrote the screenplay to Edmond. It is not an excellent film, but an excellent script. It has got the best ending I have ever seen. I usually forget every ending but this I will remember forever. A burned out white business guy finding his final destiny in a prison cell in the arms of a black prisoner with a rotten front tooth who had sodomized him. Now I spoiled the movie for you but you might have never watched it anyway. Have a great holiday!

Good Bye Zoé (former Ashley)

Zoé

Managed to eat nothing more yesterday. Except a small bag of jelly babies, which I downed all on my own on the streets, while walking the dogs.

A tragedy occurred yesterday. I heard Luzies silent scream and was very alarmed. Silent screams are always a sign that something really serious has happened.

I ran to her room, there she stood in the doorways, head bowed, crying. I thought she had hurt herself and wondered why she was on her own, while Sven and Anton were sitting in her room, next to the hamster cage.

The hamster had been murdered! Luzie found him in the cage, slit open, intestines hanging out and ants crawling over him. The cage door was closed. A mystery that nobody could explain.

Luzie was crying hysterically. She was under shock. She went into my room and lied on my bed. I lied next to her, taking her in my arms. After a while, she asked me under her sobs: Can you please get me my DS? I got up and brought her the requested.
Sven buried the hamster and two minutes later, Luzie was playing as if nothing has happened.

Earlier that day she told me about school. All the prefects had been on a camp on Monday.Today they handed out all the things the little ones had forgotten. She told me amused about one girl that had forgotten two T-shirts, a towel, her bathing-suit and a boy who had forgotten his trousers and his shoes. (How can he forget his pants?)

Luzie didn’t forget anything. She is past that age. I remember when she was in grade 1 and 2, how she and her friends always forgot everything. It was a drama when we couldn’t find her blouse or skirt or shoes of her school-uniform the next morning after she had spent the afternoon at her friend. I almost forgot.
Every mother was upset about it. When I picked her up I went trough the whole house of her friend to collect her stuff. The other mothers did the same. We thought they would never learn to keep their things together and they did. Just so.

Same with Anton. First thing he does when he comes home from school is to take a shower. He says he can’t understand how one could live without showering every day.
I remember he lived very well without showering for weeks until recently. Kids just change. They grow out of things. You are always concerned about how they would ever learn not to forget things, brush their teeth, wash their hair, shower .. until you give up and than they just do it by themselves.

A Lazy Guide to Stay Thin

I find that I have a lot more to say about things I know little about.
For example diet. I never have been on a diet. Not that I never had too.

I am 1.80m. When I was 17 I weighed 57 kilos. My ideal weight now would be about 65. I don’t know my weight now because I only step on a scale when I feel really thin and that was what the hotel scale showed two and half years ago. When I feel too fat it usually shows 70.

The last time I got rid of 5 kilos was on my last reading tour in Germany. I had a nervous tummy bug and could hardly eat for a week. At the end of my journey I bought a pair of Jeans as encouragement to stay thin. I haven’t worn these jeans for a year. My skinny Jeans are still my measure.

For a long time I thought it is just luck that some people stay thin and others don’t. I honestly thought fat people eating big cakes is a chliche´. But it isn’t. I realized that most thin people eat less. All my friends which are thiner than me eat less than I do. And most people which are fatter than me eat more. Most thin people are always very disciplined with food. Most people have to be that. Always!
If I want to stay thin I have to stay hungry. I can not always eat untill I feel full.

I don’t believe in diets. I believe diets are dangerous. Only fat people go on diets. And they usually stay fat or get fat again. I believe once you starve yourself your metabolism gets lazy and you will store fat that you will never get rid of. I believe in eating less. So I slowly and carefully go down with my food intake.
I believe in a diet for life. A healthy eating habit that I found is working for me. I wrote down some of the rules that came into my mind. Depending on my weight and mood I stick to more or less of the rules. My body weight is only dictated by my own well being and the clothes I wear. No scales!

- Never get on a scale when you are trying to loose weight.

- Never ever buy new clothes a size bigger because everything you own is too small. (This is a non-negotionable!)

- Don’t starve yourself untill you get so hungry that you could eat a whole cow (and do).

- Decrease your food intake slowly but constantly

- Don’t get bored. Get some excitement.

- Sport only makes you hungry (and even worse, your body will get used to it and you will have to keep on exercising to keep your weight). Walk more or have more sex instead.

- Go for an hour walk every day.

- Cook a lot. I loose my appetite when I cook.

- Eat less but more often. 5 meals a day.

- Never go on a diet!

- Avoid bread, cake, everything flowery, sugar (when you can) and potatoes (in any form!) when you feel too fat.

- When you had a heavy meal stay away from desert.

- Don’t eat after 6 o’ clock in the evening or only a light meal.

- Take only half portions and rather go for seconds. Stop eatings even when you still feel hungry, but feel full once a day.

- Eat little portions of many different foods. So your tastedbuds are fully satisfied.

- Only eat when you are hungry and not because everybody else does.

- Never feel guilty but feel good about yourself if you kept even one rule for today and keep on trying.

- Eat slowly! (I can’t, but I know two very skinny girls who eat veery slowly and thought there might be a connection)

- Only drink water!

Any other suggestions?

Next: My thoughts on the best way to spend your life. Stay thin!

Restless

I was trying to post some pictures for the last days but it didn’t happen. Pictures just don’t upload for unknown reason.

I am short of words at the moment. Too excited, can’t wait to go. A time of waiting and preparing and planmaking. That’s the best. Everything just falls into place. I have to stop myself making a plan for every day of our journey. There are only a few free days left anyway.

After last weekends hot summer days another coldfront. I spend most of the time with a hot waterbottle under the blanket. Sven and Anton got into blind garden activity. Cutting bushes (five days before we leave) and mowing clover, (leaving a big mess). Antons muscles were jerking for the next two days.

The sun came out today and we went for a walk, late afternoon. Luzie brought her elastic along and we played Gummitwist (ingle-angle) on the big field. I showed her how we did it when I was a girl and I only got to knee and almost collapsed afterwards. Jumping is incredibly exhausting! I am sooo unfit! Luzie laughed at me.
The other day Luzie came out of her room all sweaty and red in her face. She had practiced ingle-angle by herself because all the girls in school are so good at it and she ended up standing the whole time. I laughed at her.

I love the fact that the kids still play the same games as we did. After 30 years and even across the world! Another thing they did at my school during brake was the “mass-handstand”. One starts a handstand against the wall, another one against the first girl and so on. Up to 10 girls. I could never do that. Too scared.

I wish I could show you my pictures!

Family Life

After Anton has spent the last two days at home because of a strong headache that occurred primarily shortly before he went to sleep and especially in the morning when he woke up, Luzie took a day off to catch up with her school projects. One about Malawi and the other one about Robert Sobukwe, founding leader of the Pan Africanist Congress.
She had little breakdowns from time to time which brought Sven to the edge of his nerves, who had to finish a radio play.

While I had breakfast in the sun to warm up, I discovered this little path, made by our animals in the garden.

Later these children in their school uniforms knocked at the door to ask for permission to pick the fruits from our trees, which are yellow and very sour and I forgot the name.

Miss Selfrighteous

Today I was again the bad guy. The really bad guy. I am again confronted with myself confronting people in a not so friendly way, because I can get very upset and when I am upset I can hardly control my feelings and so I upset the feelings of people who upset me.

It doesn’t happen often and maybe this is the reason why I have difficulties to get too close to people, because if I see something wrong it is hard for me to hold back and I can not really discern whether it is controlling or caring, but most of the time there is a caring aspect, even when it comes across quite controlling. And selfrighteous.

I have a very limited imagination. I can’t even imagine to ever eat again when I am full, and after a hot and sunny day I am almost startled when it is rainy and cold. How should I imagine how other people feel? Most of the times I am not even trying, because I know I will fail. I believe things that work for me also must work for others.

It irritates me and I want to see myself clearly. I know I have little empathy. And my homeopath once told me I lack grace. That is true. Aber woher nehmen, wenn nicht stehlen? Where to get from and not steal it? I am praying for it, but sometimes there doesn’t seem to be enough.

I am not very compassionate, nor understanding. I try to be more tolerant, but I can’t hold back because it makes me sick. What I obviously have to learn is to confront people in a loving and understanding way. To get my heart right first.

I hate to know that I didn’t do things right, that I failed, that I could have done much better. I am not even a perfectionist. I am confused not knowing what is right or wrong, but I am getting more at ease that it is ok to mess up, admit my mistakes, try to learn and hope to do better next time.

Tree-Puzzle

On our walk last Sunday we were standing under the big bluegum- trees and Olga said, when they were kids they played the tree-puzzle. One would pull off a little piece of bark and the others had to figure out where it came from.
(Did I get it right this time O?)

Another Suchbild. Can you see the yellow weaver-birds? They collect their building-material in the reed, fly across the river and weave their heart-shaped nest in the trees. Than they make a lot of noise to attract the females, which will choose their mate by it’s nest.

Monkeyland II

The first two nights we spent in Natures Valley right next to the world highest bungee jump. There is a person hanging at the end of the rope. We watched the people jumping in the morning. All girls, inclusive three Muslim girls in full gear, and one of the guys explained patiently all our questions: How old was the youngest person.. 8 years, but she was a trapeze artist..The oldest person: 80 and he will come back on his 90th birthday.
Can’t you get a heart attack? No, that is impossible because of all the adrenalin pushing the blood trough your veins. This is actually the cure for heart attacks, an adrenalin injection.
That’s what he said. Luzie said, she will come back on her 14th birthday to jump, because that is their official age limit. Unfortunately they didn’t allow us to jump altogether so we went to Monkeyland.

This was the only gibbon and we were very lucky to see him, taking a sunbath in the tree.

Our charming guide

They keep geese and little birds because the monkey love eggs and even kill the birds and eat them. I was quite surprised, believing the sweet monkeys only eat bananas. Actually almost all of them are carnivores.

The wooden hanging bridge

Another hanging bridge in Birdland

Flamingos are only pink because of the pink crabs they eat. I wonder wether they would turn blue if they would feed on blueberries. I suppose Flamingos don’t like blueberries, but it would be worth a try. A Flamingopark with Flamingos in all different colours.

Luzie collected the pretty little red feathers for earrings.

Sven calls this picture the anointed one

The Splatter House

On our daily walk we pass an abandoned rugby field. It belongs to the primary school.
Luzie never wants to walk across the field. She prefers to walk along the street.
I said to her, “come on, don’t be so boring, you have to take a risk from time to time”.

She giggles and says, “when I’ll write a book about my life, I will write :My mothers idea of taking a risk is entering a field with a sign that says: Okkie Smuts School property. Enter at own risk.”

On this field is a rundown little building that used to be toilets or changing rooms at times when the field was still in use. It has two separate entrances.
Abandoned houses always look eerie and I’ve never been close to it. Today was the first time.
We looked through the broken windows.

The walls were splattered with blood. It looked as someone had been slaughtered, even more horrible than I had imagined. The strange thing was that the little drops were evenly spread all over the walls.

Sven said, “that’s not blood, it is birdshit”. He was right. On the windowsill I saw dried red berries. The birds were feeding on these berries which gave their shit the exact colour of dried blood.